There are a lot of things parents subject their children to that give the parent satisfaction purely because they drive the child insane (my mom’s favorite might have been “The Weenie-Whiney Club theme song she start every time we said something wasn’t fair.) These moments of parental revenge seem to have more value to them the more I look back.
If I didn’t like something I had to face like the special education teacher who seemed to feel justified in telling me how I should fix my hair everyday of my freshman year in high school, mom always reminded me, “This too shall pass.” I wouldn’t be a high school student forever, and I had little power to change this instructor’s perception of my ability to fix my own hair or of my intelligence.
In more painful/frightening situations in my 31 years, from fighting the fear brought on by Anorexia, to the 15 surgeries and countless hospital stays, those too passed. It is harder that the happiest moments passed faster than the gut wrenching ones (that’s what makes depression scary; we can’t see the change), but I have seen people find it. I have found it, even after a decade of physical suffering. I am on an upward health and happiness trajectory tonight.
No path is ever straight (unless you’re under 20 and tell my mom something’s unfair then it Is straight to the Weenie-Whiney club theme… ) but with the big picture things there are no guarantees or constants. I am well overall because I work and rest so that I can be well, I grow and change as my life does.
This morning though, I woke up a debilitating headache and sweating. When I got up and took some OTC pain and allergy medicine I had plans for this new day in quarantine. I went to eat my cereal, and the first bite left me nauseous and weak. it was all I could manage to crawl back into bed and remind myself that this too, shall pass. if I treat it appropriately; “appropriate” treatmeant turned out to be more medicine and 4 hours of hard sleep.
If I had taken my customary route of working despite my illness, I would’ve accomplished little, and nothing of the quality I desire. In quarantine I have had to give up almost every plan I had worked so hard to become healthy to make, but I am at home because I know not to work against my own self interests. I have created new ideas (this blog!) with the knowledge that quarantine will pass, and it doesn’t go any faster if I ignore it.