Surprises and Persistence

I have a lot of plans each morning about writing and editing, learning new words in my favourite language app and and the psychology of language itself, and so many other things. In all honesty, my expectations are too high for the perfect day, and I am lucky to wake up optimistic even when I have been struggling. Hope doesn’t spring eternal for everyone.

At the end of the day, if I am unsatisfied with my degree of accomplishment it’s the result of a choice I made. I chose to focus on one goal over others, to let my mind wander, or to take a nap. Persistence is hard, even when I want something so much that I try (and sometimes fail) to work on it every day. Persistence is even harder when things happen we can’t control.

I woke up at 3:30am on Mother’s Day with what I thought to be a severe sinus headache, but within an hour it became cold sweats and vomiting as well. by breakfast, a few hours later it hurt to open my eyes and felt like my muscles were melting from the bone. I’d gone to bed early the night before with plans to make up for lost time in the morning. I didn’t do anything I planned yesterday; I went to the hospital instead.

I feel alright now, and have no answers as to what caused my discomfort, but I pick up where I left off instead of wasting time ranting about my lost time. If you had known me two years ago I would not have known how to practice radical acceptance. (Letting go of what is past and living now.) But with a lot of practice looking at the big picture, and having to pick myself up when I fall backward, I know it feels a lot better than depression over what I can no longer control or never could. Persist and grow with what you have where you are and there will always be reason for hope!


Published by sickybeat

I am a writer with an extremely active imagination. I love learning answers to questions and what makes everything and everyone tick. I am a "Unique case, medically" if nothing else. I am flawed in my extreme aversion to failure (even when "success" isn't good for me,) but have come a long way in ditching the perfectionist mindset. I like people whose default setting toward others is compassion, an open mind, and honesty

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