I’m Gonna do it For Me

You know those family members you love and are fun to visit with, but they aren’t so good at keeping in touch? They get super busy (and that is the truth), or they aren’t so great with letters (WHHHAAT?!?), or they can’t stand phones (talking on one anyway)? I have several siblings like that, and I get it.

I spent time working at a call center and it turned me off of calling people. keep very busy with life, letters take a lot of time, hand written or emailed, to have any real meaning. (Side note: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE paper letters.) but, I digress..

My brother called me today, and it was at the worst time. I was getting close to home on paratransit when I got the call, I didn’t think it would be long, so I didn’t mention that I didn’t have more than 10 minutes. We talked for about 5 minutes before the bus driver began asking which house was mine (it was dark, she couldn’t see the numbers on the houses). Before long I was overwhelmed because I couldn’t give my brother my attention, and had to hang up as he was trying to speak. I was able to quickly tell him that I had to get into my walker (I need both hands,) but I couldn’t get out an “I love you.”

My brother had originally planned to call last Sunday. Even though I had no warning that the call was coming this evening and no way to block out time for it, I still feel bad about rushing off. So, I’m going to write him, and just let him know that any time that I know a call is coming from him he will have my full attention. I know my brother is smart enough to realize what happened, but sending him an explanation of sorts will make ME feel better even if he doesn’t need it. And sometimes people do things in the name of others, but at heart they do them because, the thought of the other person’s smile makes US feel better. Besides, I can never tell my brother that I love him too often.

Published by sickybeat

I am a writer with an extremely active imagination. I love learning answers to questions and what makes everything and everyone tick. I am a "Unique case, medically" if nothing else. I am flawed in my extreme aversion to failure (even when "success" isn't good for me,) but have come a long way in ditching the perfectionist mindset. I like people whose default setting toward others is compassion, an open mind, and honesty

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