Access to Sunlight

June 1st 2019,

I climbed twenty-two stairs

Walked, stumbled,

through a kitchen in-between

The first day, I marvel at the roof,

of all things.

Disorientation lasted 6 months.

By the end of the year,

I was twerking at a Shania Twain concert in Las Vegas,

In leopard-print wedges.

And yet,

Two days after Christmas

I could not breathe,

Bones melted in my skin.

It would be 3 days into 2020

Before the blood loss


And blood clot

Was resolved.

It was the longest stint,

Outside my room

In two+ years.

Covid19 set in.

I set myself to work,


Motivational interviewing,

Attachment theory,






Singing practice,



my states administrative rules

Passed the LSAT

And prepared

For law school.

In all that time,

I likely left one room for 300 hours

Out of approximately 17,161 hours.

I learned to appreciate that life,

Even without freedom of movement.

I was not imprisoned.

Today I sit in my own apartment,

Can take my walker or wheelchair

Outside as I please,

I do not regret living in a room,

Using a camode,

Or lacking running water,

Because it forced me to slow down,

Think creatively,

And appreciate freedom of movement

While teaching me freedom of mind.


Published by sickybeat

I am a writer with an extremely active imagination. I love learning answers to questions and what makes everything and everyone tick. I am a "Unique case, medically" if nothing else. I am flawed in my extreme aversion to failure (even when "success" isn't good for me,) but have come a long way in ditching the perfectionist mindset. I like people whose default setting toward others is compassion, an open mind, and honesty

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: