There’s Having no FILTER And Having no filter

pity the philosopher,

the thinker.

Her senses are hieghtened

Her emotions crash.

After resurfacing one area of mind

its neighbor fills with pinpricks.

just big enough to make her crazy if they aren’t fixed.

a stain on character, that is shared with the world

and she is uncapable of ignoring.

Translucent except with age,

it soils pages in so many life stories.

And here so few philosophers emerge

willing to pick up those grape juice thoughts.

Reducing Friction!

Books can be tedious. Sometimes books are a pain to write. Sometimes, no matter how passionate we are about a story, we can’t get it out. What we see in our mind, doesn’t come out as pristinely on paper. There could be many reasons, and those reasons not to write come up against our desire to say our piece.

here are three of the reasons I know of that we become stuck in our work and ways I’ve found to address them:

  1. IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOO OVERWHELMING!!!!!!!

if you don’t know where to start the writing: start in the end, and work backward, or in the beginning and just brain-dump anything that comes, you can shape it and polish it later

2. No big name? No publisher? No agent?

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I know the feeling! But there are people who want to help us! Check out Reedsy.com!

3. It’s just hard to write for an hour (on the rare days we manage to get one!)

This one’s a real struggle, isn’t it? Try adding elements to make your experience more pleasant: Clothes that make you feel comfortable (but, not sleepy!) Music that has bite to it (movie soundtracks work for this!) Your FAVORITE, DRINKS/SNACKS cuz, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Any reward works, just make the good feelings outweigh the head smackings.

Bonus tip!

break the project down into steps that are big enough to challenge and engage as well as being DOABLE and celebrate every. SINGLE. SUCCESS!

we’ve got this!

Why Aren’t we Explorers

We seek stimuli

To avoid stillness,

We fear a plague of wasted time

That we must divide our minds,

Depress our world

And half-ass everything,

Because half of everything is better than none of something

Even if that something is stress, insomnia, fear, rage.

We most not stop.

Even though, stillness is not regression or no longer existing

We are rarely still, because the most frightening thing to learn about is the self.

Please Keep Searching

As a begin writing this post, ads for faux diet miracles are floating around in my head. You may have noticed I didn’t put quotes around the word miracles, I chose not to for a reason. Even though quick fixes (for any issue) don’t work for the vast majority, I am confident that every quick fix worked for at least one person.

Science may not bear out the claims of quick fixes, or certain websites (Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop venture is an example) but, if it does what you need it to without causing harm, use it! Personally, I like to take a reason based approach, I can’t accept a solution very well if I can’t understand that their is concrete evidence behind it. Others can accept things through faith, and still others only through lived experience. And, in my opinion, if your approach makes you a better, happier, more compassionate person, I support you!

However, just because one variation of a tool doesn’t work well, don’t give up! A personal example: mindfulness. I despised the meditation and deep breathing techniques I was exposed to for 30 years of my life. (I’m almost 32!) I never said no when I was offered a new way to approach and think about mindfulness and breathing, and eventually I adapted the ideas and experiences into something that I benefited from.

If the last example wasn’t relatable, think about pens. Really! :p there are Ballpoint pens, wide tipped pens, pens with grips, gel pens, there are a ton of different styles! I write the most clearly with narrow tipped, ballpoints that are ergonomically shaped. (triangle shaped pens are easier to control for me) Different people prefer to write with gel pens. The same idea is true of learning concepts, building habits, and mental and physical health. What works well for one may do nothing for the person next to them.

So, if an approach or explanation doesn’t work for you, keep looking until you find one that will. If no existing approach in a field (health, learning, building or growth of any kind) make your own! Just keep trying.

All the best

The Beginning of a Series

 Personal Hot Takes

One, the term “Hot Takes” is ridiculous

We should be able to disagree respectfully,

 and “Hot Take” has a negative connotation

the fact that we are riled up by an opinion

 says more about us, than it does the opinion.

Two, waffles are more than a vehicle for syrup,

If you drench every pocket in an inch of syrup

it makes me think you just want to drink from the bottle.

And, don’t get me started on quality of product choices.

Three, the people who want to be prayed over will request it

 if you approach someone at random to pray for them

it’s a microaggression

if you wanted to make things easier for us,

do it within the law,

but it seems you just want to feel better about you

Four, Children, and the way they think, deserve more respect

They don’t know hate or fear until adults teach them,

They love learning until adults dictate learning at them

And they have more creativity in a day than 90% of adults do in two decades

 It becomes reality if adults don’t destroy it.

Five, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s just.

Or even close.

The last presidency…

I’m Gonna do it For Me

You know those family members you love and are fun to visit with, but they aren’t so good at keeping in touch? They get super busy (and that is the truth), or they aren’t so great with letters (WHHHAAT?!?), or they can’t stand phones (talking on one anyway)? I have several siblings like that, and I get it.

I spent time working at a call center and it turned me off of calling people. keep very busy with life, letters take a lot of time, hand written or emailed, to have any real meaning. (Side note: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE paper letters.) but, I digress..

My brother called me today, and it was at the worst time. I was getting close to home on paratransit when I got the call, I didn’t think it would be long, so I didn’t mention that I didn’t have more than 10 minutes. We talked for about 5 minutes before the bus driver began asking which house was mine (it was dark, she couldn’t see the numbers on the houses). Before long I was overwhelmed because I couldn’t give my brother my attention, and had to hang up as he was trying to speak. I was able to quickly tell him that I had to get into my walker (I need both hands,) but I couldn’t get out an “I love you.”

My brother had originally planned to call last Sunday. Even though I had no warning that the call was coming this evening and no way to block out time for it, I still feel bad about rushing off. So, I’m going to write him, and just let him know that any time that I know a call is coming from him he will have my full attention. I know my brother is smart enough to realize what happened, but sending him an explanation of sorts will make ME feel better even if he doesn’t need it. And sometimes people do things in the name of others, but at heart they do them because, the thought of the other person’s smile makes US feel better. Besides, I can never tell my brother that I love him too often.

The Reasons I Won’t Let Me

Others will think I’m weak, ignorant, unaware…

She will lose her temper and hell will break lose.

I’ll inconvenience everyone.

I’ll have to deal with their unreasonable reactions,

they could leave, and take my freedom too.

I move too slowly.

I’ll lose control.

I believed a person in the know who said I wasn’t good at it.

The poem above is my own negative self-talk. Every line is a thought that has held me back. I am a confident person and, until a week ago or so, I didn’t think I had negative self talk come up that often.

I was listening to a podcast (click on the word for the link) I started to ask myself, “What do I think about before I make a decision to take/not take action?” That is where the poem came from. I always thought of negative self talk as a set of buzz words that someone had to overtly speak to me and, because of that, I brushed the idea aside.

The thing is, many of the negative thoughts I inherited about myself were unspoken ideas. I learned I was inconveniencing people when they huffed or rolled their eyes or sighed if I wanted to, say, get into my storage locker. no one said, “You’re such a bother,” but their body language did.

And I unconsciously chose to belief ideas like that, I didn’t have to. I am almost 32, and I’ve missed out on many opportunities because I stopped myself out of fear. I will face this struggle in the future too. Because I am human. I am always growing and can only learn life lessons in my own emotional language and when I am ready to hear them.

What do you usually thing before turning something down or, for that matter, accepting an opportunity?

Workaholic?

if I can’t stand stillness

because there is no accomplishment,

am I a workah…?

You know, MY BED IS MY BEST FRIEND

So, I can’t be a workaholic.

I just love what I do,

and when I’m not doing something

I’m missing out on the opportunity

there are billions of things I will never experience

no matter how many lives I live,

without taking into consideration all the

walls people build into every culture,

so, I gotta do all in the years I can

breaking bricks, breaking bread, and breaking bias

It’s better than boredom, after all

Numb

Have you seen chaos so sickening

that you dreamed of going numb?

Even though there would be no hope of joy

the numb calm would outweigh any loss.

there are enough sharp corners to war and murder

that they could be grabbed with a scalpel

of creative thought and be thrown out

for the obsolete waste of time that they are.

but those other poisons

that have seeped so deeply into us

that they are brushed aside

until they hit a wall

and we must acknowledge them,

bits at a time.

the one’s that we choose to ignore

because the suffering is quiet

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and the survivors strong

and lucky enough.

Do you wonder about them?

Or do you blame them for going numb?

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Because, the number keeps growing.