reflection – SickyBeat

Endings

I ache at each, Soothing, or stabbing The best or the most destructive, The viability of the ending, Matters less than the pages rising, And collapsing on their brethren. When all have stopped, I continue. If only in my aching for every single one. Empathy and trauma so woven There is no separation. And yet,Continue reading “Endings”

Where i am

For 4 years of being “well” I stand in the old shadows of ill I can tell you where I am now But the answer to “How did I get here?” Is in shards throughout my limbs. But, When lost in life, I never forget I am here

Rising to the Label

I am sick of being talked “roundabout “ Denigrated for being in a state of being That I had no say in, though it is 50.1% what I am, and where I go. I am not used to fighting for equal ground, But for a real say. I am studying child law. But, I doContinue reading “Rising to the Label”

Demons! Danger Radar

28 years ago I survived via danger-radar Hiding when it squawked Eventually, it blended in What is what you cannot change? -Life- Staring at change in that dusk I guess my radar is broken Because I hear ghosts squawking In the dawn.

Retribution

Summarized in one sentence. Six words: You hurt people, you deserve pain. in the moment before a heinous crime, Does anyone think they will actually end up in a prison? If anyone does, do you think they have the capacity to care? And, why does the state get to become the criminal?

I know

What I don’t know, What I love and despise, What I have, And what I have to share, But, all too often, I don’t know what to say, And here I am again.

Face

Brushing teeth, For a split second I recall the me, Who thought with her body, And drowned in the see of I’s that remained of her brain. Should, Incapable, must, must, must, afraid, can’t, lazy afraid, afraid. Looking in mirrors, With nothing to find. For a split second I realize I am the self thatContinue reading “Face”

I keep Deleting

There is a motif in my words now. I used to have a gift for darkness, Or perhaps, just holes in a jaded heart. When I gave the darkness language, The pain glittered. And now, my words only bubble and pop on Occasion. But, I am okay with that.

That Thin Line

At random she appeared, On a silent screen her tilted face screamed. Not anger or violence, Fear and exhaustion. Lostness. Perhaps I am projecting what I need her to feel. Her silent aching, Could make the past, & future bearable. While the present aches every time I see her.

Let This be The Beginning

I keep trying, Because one day If I keep working I will be able to say Remember…? And I will be proud of this struggle. I will look at time. Finally aware of its shift Behind my back. The shift from drowning, To fierce swimming Will come. Challenge will remain, But I will master wavesContinue reading “Let This be The Beginning”